Mike's Bachelor Party

DiCarlo, Clark, Snow, Me, Ho, Acker, Kai - MIA: Daniel and Arthur

    Well naturally my bachelor party had all of the crucial elements that make any bachelor party a success: lack of sleep, dehydration, and plenty of girls pretending to be interested in you. Of course these were not obtained in the usual fashion, but that's not a bad thing. Thanks everyone! Now who's getting engaged in time for Hot Import Nights next year...

Hot Import Nights Girls, in Chronological Order of Mike Getting Pictures With Them

Natalie Keen Nikki Cash Alvendia Rowena Galam
Alexia Lei Mercedes Terrell Tiffany Lang Amanda Garcia
Umbrella Girls Kristin and Jen Natasha Yi and Sonia Vera Dazza Shannon Tatu
Jayne McCloud An Actual Car!

Mike's Musings on Hot Import Nights

    We kind of decided to go to Hot Import Nights on a whim. Ever since The Fast and the Furious we'd joked about doing so, but never really had an occasion to - the bachelor party solved all that. So tickets were bought, plans made, and then everyone asked "What the hell is Hot Import Nights?" It was a damn good question, and frankly until we got there we never did find an answer. We knew it involved cars, mostly import tuner type cars, and models, mostly import tuner type models. But all of our web searches really only turned up pictures, and they only tell part of the story.

    The first thing I noticed was the crowd. It was a little different than I expected. There were all of the required hot, scantily-clad women that I had anticipated but I wasn't prepared for the number of, well, kids. Granted I'm 27, so my idea of "kids" might not be the same as yours, but the number of what I took to be high-school age boys running around really surprised me. The other thing that surprised me was the number of girls at the show who didn't seem to be either models or the girlfriends of any of the aforementioned boys. I'm sure some of them had a legitimate interest in cars, but I wonder if a lot of them weren't there hoping to be discovered as the next Miss Hot Import Nights. Anyways we got our tickets from will-call, skipped to the head of the long line (if you ever go I definitely recommend buying tickets in advance), and went through security (they confiscated my lip balm!).

    Once inside the main room, we discovered what Hot Import Nights is really all about - the babes. Sure there were a few cars here and there, maybe some fancy stereo systems, but the main room (and the secondary room) were really for the women. The scene at each model was pretty much the same, a hot girl (or two or three or four), a throng of guys clamoring to get signatures, and cameras everywhere. It was dark, and music blared constantly from a stage at one end where evidently at one point there was some kind of bikini situation, but I missed that part. Some of the girls had large crowds mobbing them, and some didn't. Most of them seemed to be enjoying themselves, at least a little bit, but there were a few who looked less than happy to be there. Frankly it can't be a lot of fun being leered at and forced to smile all night long, and I don't think they were getting a whole lot of money (if any) to be there. A few of the girls signed autographs, handed out posters and took pictures with you all for free. The bigger names charged anywhere from 2$ to 10$ for you to get a signed picture or poster and the priviledge of getting your picture taken with them. I'm not sure I'd pay 10$ for an 8x10 glossy that I'm going to stick in a drawer somewhere on a regular night, but seeing as it was my bachelor party my friends were more than willing to do so for me. Half the price of a lap dance after all! The secondary room contained fewer girls, less crowds, and another stage where there was a "DJ Battle" going on. The few minutes we spent next to the DJ Battle was definitely the lowlight of the evening, but remember that I'm 27.

    We did the rounds, with me elbowing my way to the front of over a dozen lines through two chaotic rooms with hardly a thought to the fact that this was an auto show. Eventually we made our way outside where we found the cars. Rows and rows of tricked out cars were outside, though we paid them little attention. Further away from the main hall we found several smaller rooms, these well-lit and quiet, which contained yet more cars. A few people were looking at a few of the cars, but overall I can't say they were being paid much attention - except for the car with the two girls inside it that is. Maybe we were just too late in the evening for that though.

    Disappointed by the lack of girls and number of cars outside the first two rooms we made our way back into the thick of things, but there really wasn't much left to see. Judging from the photo galleries on the web we missed a few models, so some of them must have packed it in early. But after about two hours it was time to head home. I guess we'll save the after-parties for next year. I had a lot of fun, but I'm not entirely sure if it's for everyone. I'm not even sure I would have that much fun on any night when it wasn't my bachelor party because on any other night I'd feel like a bit of a tool waiting in line to say hi to a girl who's job it is to smile at me. The tickets weren't cheap, and even I wasn't thirsty enough for a three dollar can of Coke. But if you are an extreme import car enthusiast, or a high school kid with a few bucks to blow who's still young enough to think he has a chance to score with any of the models (and crazy enough to think he wants to with some of them) then maybe it's the show for you. Personally, I think MacWorld Expo is more my speed.

    Prize for nicest girl definitely goes to Sonia Vera. She spent a lot of time with some pathetic fan who couldnt' even keep his camera batteries charged, and seemed genuinely concerned with her inability to quickly get correct change for us. Natalie Keen gets the award for Most Enthusiastic after wrapping both arms around me, she might be one of the few girls who really understood it was my Bachelor Party. Dazza was the creepiest, referring to me as "baby" about six times and trying to push her DVD, and Amanda Garcia was definitely the most devoted mother for the evening, stopping every so often to say hi to her little boy who was with her at the event. Mercedes Terrell had the best use of an accessory, covering her body with grease, and Tiffany Lang showed the best style with her use of the dual undergarment approach.

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